Cell Phone -> ITR

ITR is for "In the River" from the urban legend where the UPS driver was signing packages "ITR" and dumping them in the river. I hate my cell phone. It died and I got a new one but I still hate cell phones. I am therefore throwing my cell phone in the Schuylkipquylll (sp?) River this weekend. Please leave suggestions as to what else I should do with it before then. So far I've used it to practice kicking field goals (kicked it through an open front door).